Bedtime

Here's a topic that can make any parent crazy, bedtime.  How do we get the kids down at a reasonable time, have a little time left for ourselves and get our own good night's rest before we have to wake up and repeat it all again.

I have some very strong opinions about bedtime and boundaries.  I think it's up to the adults in the house to find the best routine to ensure the entire family each get their needed amount of sleep for optimum health and harmony.  We need to assist our kids in how to unwind, relax and transition into a restful night's sleep.

What has worked for me is to set a bedtime routine that is concise and consistent, ensure their sleeping area is conducive to sleep, spend some time reading or doing a calming activity, and then I kiss them tonight to enjoy a peaceful night's rest.

Of course, it doesn't allows go that smoothly.  Some kids have night and day confused, others need little sleep, while still others suffer from fear of monsters or the dark or missing out on something so they never want to shut their eyes.  Despite all the possible detours, with a little bit of patience we can find our way to night time bliss. 

Do a little digging and figure out how much sleep your child needs, work out a bedtime routine and give enough time to complete all the teeth brushing and goodnight kissing, as well as finding what works best to help your child unwind.  This may include story telling, singing, rocking, back rubbing or relaxation exercises.  It's helpful to limit the amount of time spent in sleep preparation and then allow your child to settle into sleep. 

Certainly babies are up frequently feeding and needing care, but as kids grow their ability to sleep for longer uninterrupted times grows with them.  I established a bedtime routine when my kids were young and tried to stick with it even when traveling.  Sometimes my kids had trouble settling down and they cried as I left the room.  This can be heart wrenching for a parent, particularly a new parent, but I always tried to give them a few minutes to calm down and find sleep on their own.  And when I did reenter the room I was quiet and gentle, made sure they were comfortable and not in need of anything, then I quietly soothed them and left the room again.

When facing bedtime dilemmas, we need to remain calm and focused on helping our kids to smoothly transition into a peaceful night's rest.  This can be difficult when dealing with fussy or crying children, especially when we ourselves are tired.  I used to set a timer for half a minute before reentering my kids room if not settling down once I was sure they were not hurt or wet or in need of anything.  Then I would go to one minute.  It was heart wrenching to hear them cry but I will say it never lasted long before they dropped off to sleep. 

And in those instances when they weren't settling down after trying a few times, I just picked them up and soothed them until they could get to sleep and tried to help them self-sooth the next night.  It can be hard to know when to leave them to fuss and when to scoop them up.  The tone of our child's cry is a good indicator of whether they are truly upset, being manipulative or just whining, as well if is there a pattern of trouble getting them down or if this is an unusual occurence.  Patterns of disruptive sleep or difficulty getting kids to sleep may require seeing the primary care doctor who may recommend taking melatonin, getting sleep studies or addressing other medical issues.  

Sleep is critical and establishing a peaceful bedtime routine when kids are young can help them settle easily and get a good night's sleep.  It's important for adults to also have time to unwind, relax and get a good night's sleep, and encouraging tranquility with kid's bedtime sets the stage for everyone to enjoy a peaceful night.