Recently my mom was dealing with a health issue and had to have surgery. She came to stay with us and my kids helped care for her. The question is how much and when do we tell our kids about sickness, aging and physical decline.
Of course the age of the child is the key factor whenever discussing anything. We want to use language, examples and provide information to match a child's understanding and abilities. Follow the lead of the child by answering their questions straightforwardly and simply, while being sensitive to their concerns, fears or comments.
I used to think it was best to shield kids from sad or bad news but over the years I've realized that they always know when something is off or wrong so it's much better to just address it head on. Besides, there are valuable lessons and information to help kids understand life issues when we share about Grandma's surgery, Dad's illness or a sibling's disease.
Caring for others teaches kids compassion. Keeping communication open can help them feel safe, informed and part of the family. Caring for adult parents or dealing with a family member who is ill can upset the household routine. It's important to be aware of how each child is reacting, feeling and effected. It usually helps to involve them where able and to try to keep their routine as normal as possible. Preserving one-on-one time between parent and child gives them a sense of security and connection, especially for young children.
Parents can feel upset, sad or uncertain. Sharing at least a basic level of how we feel can help kids better understand and deal with the situation. Everyone may need to pitch in and help more, adjust or accommodate to changes in the household. We have to remember to ask for help and offer assistance when able.
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