Dear MaryCatherine,
My 4 year old is a biter and I need help to get them to stop. They bite not only when they are mad but even when they are playing or happy. I'm worried about their biting especially as they are starting preschool. What do I do??
-- Biter Battle
Dear Biter Battle,
Babies put everything in their mouths to explore and understand the world around them. Most kids grow out of it as mobility and function develop. The best way to stop a biting habit is to address it as soon as it starts. Even a baby who bites at the breast can be redirected and told "no biting". Most times gentle warnings work but if your child continues to bite then investigate if they are biting to get attention, are they limited or overwhelmed sensory-wise, or they may need help finding others productive ways to express themselves. At 4 years old a habit is forming, so it's important to address it immediately. Consistently say "no biting" sternly and use time out or loss of a favorite toy to reshape the behavior. Also, they are old enough to understand that biting hurts others and that is unacceptable. Reward good behavior and encourage using their mouth to talk and not bite. --MaryCatherine
Dear MaryCatherine,
With all the worry about COVID do you think I should send my child to school?
-- Send to School?
Dear Send to School?,
That's a great question and there is no standard answer that is right for everyone. Does your child have health issues or is there someone in the family that could be compromised by having your child around other children? If the answer is yes then look further into how is your school district handling safety, masks, distancing and testing before deciding? If you don't feel comfortable, find an alternative solution. If you are happy with your school's plan, then move forward but be sure to talk with your child and assure them of the safety guidelines. Some schools are staggering start times or days in attendance, others are dividing the school into separate units or spreading out into larger spaces. This is a complicated and unsure time. Do what makes you feel comfortable. --MaryCatherine
Dear MaryCatherine,
My 16-year-old won’t clean their room. Should I make them? I hate a messy house.
-- Nonmessy Mom
Dear Nonmessy Mom,
How messy is messy? If we’re talking unhealthy with food wrapper or wet towels, intercede and set up the clear parameters with them for what’s allowed and what’s not. If it’s just regular messy, then you need to walk away and shut the door. We all need some private space and setting expectations for everyone in the family to clean the shared space is great but I think some creative mess is ok in their personal space. --MaryCatherine
