College Bound

It's that time of year when you can't find XL twin sheets anywhere to fit those uniquely sized dorm beds and the entire household is spinning with emotion, from excitement to anxiety.  Every member of the family is effected when things change at home and a child leaving for college is sure to stir up the household, not only the child going away but for their siblings and us parents as well. 

Of course, there is an extra level of stress this year with COVID-19 and all the additional worries as to whether to attend in person or study remotely, travel and quarantine restrictions, and all of the uncertainty regarding safety and optimum educational learning.

Hopefully we've done most of the hard work and preparation already by parenting our child to be responsible, independent and confident.  Yet regardless of how mature our senior is, the preceding year has been filled with applications, decisions, packing and separating, which is disruptive to even the most composed student.  It is so important to take the time to encourage conversation, discuss concerns and keep the lines of communication open.  It's perfectly normal to experience some unrest and tension before a big transition, so it's helpful to step back, give everyone space to adjust while possibly relaxing the expectations at home a little. It's an exciting time and we want to support our kids through it.

Having dropped three kids off at college I will say it was totally different each time.  I always cried but they were regular mom tears and I made sure to wait until I was driving away.  Otherwise, each child handled it in their own way and I wouldn't have expected any less with my three very unique individuals.  I asked each of them to text me daily at first just so I knew they were ok, but I left it up to them how often they called or came home. Surprisingly, sometimes it's not the first semester that a child finds difficult.  One of my kids just walked away happy in September but was teary in January, while another had more trouble being away for their semester abroad after leaving home the 5 previous terms with ease.

Time has a way of helping us adjust and by openly embracing this period of transition we can help the whole family find a "new normal."  Remember, we've been training for this moment since they were born, to send them off to live their own wonderful life and be good citizens of the world. But we are all effected by someone in the family leaving, so we want to be sensitive and observant to how everyone is coping.  We especially need to make sure to care for our own needs, get and give support to our partner and give ourselves time to adjust to the new norm at home.